"it didn't look that big, but it got bigger when I chewed it......" anonymous

Gripping commentary.....

"Are you going to drop my cookie? Hallie yelling at a game on her phone.

Legal size?

One time at work, I was helping an officer laminate some stuff like certificates and business card sized things. I was looking for the sheet to put the smaller ones in, and didn't realize that he had already found them and was sending them through the machine. When he asked why I was getting the small sheets I said, "I thought you had two little ones", right then another officer walked in and heard only that. The look on his face was hilarious, he turned around and walked back out of the office and said "I'm sure he does, but I don't know why you have to talk about it at work!"

Erica B.

You brought what?

"that's why I brought the big one...."

a friend speaking of the chocolate bar he brought to share.

Licker license?

"Look at how sloppy she is. Got a good drool on, think she just finished with a good lick over there." 
    - My safari guide pointing out an antelope leaving a salt lick on the reserve.
 Sent to me by Jon K.

Finally starting this....

Ok, I've been saying for some time that I should start a blog about the "out of context" phrases that pop up in conversation. This particular blog will be predominantly for myself and others to share them.

Now, to clarify....these phrases are the ones that in normal conversation where all participants of said conversation understand what's going on (in context) and suddenly a phrase comes along that one or several people may think..."if someone heard that phrase and didn't know what we were talking about it'd sound awful!". This is exactly what it's about. I'll put them up when I think of them and hopefully others can comment with their own or contact me with them and I'll post them(ottomaticjack@gmail.com or message me on Facebook). But let's see how this goes....I fully expect it'll be fairly amusing.